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  • Writer's pictureEmbracing Hope

Grief Is Like An Ocean

I have a background in social work and one of the first things we learned about in our schooling is the 5 stages of grief; Elisabeth Kübler-Ross referenced five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While I had this "book knowledge" long ago, the thing I learned through personal experiences of losing loved ones is that these stages have no set order/schedule and you can quickly (or slowly) bounce from one to the other. Your emotions can bounce back and forth between all these stages all in one day or you might get stuck in one stage for years. There is truly no standard or "right" way to experience grief. The best analogy I can come up with after experiencing grief and loss personally is that it is like an ocean. Just like the ocean tide goes in and out, and somedays the waters are smooth and others the waves are so rough they knock you off your feet and you can barely catch your breath; the same is true with grief. Some days you may have painful memories but are still able to enjoy the beauty of the day, and others you're so overwhelmed with sadness you can't get out of bed. No matter how "smoothly" an adoption plan may unfold, there is no doubt it is filled with grief and loss for the birth mother. Even if you know 100% an adoption plan for your child is in the best interest of you and your child, there will be days that the grief of "loosing" that child will be intense. Even if you know your child is spoiled rotten and well taken care of in the adoptive home, some days you will mourn the loss of being able to parent your child. That's our passion and purpose here at Hope Embraced, to walk with you through this journey. We want to celebrate with you on the good days, and be your shoulder to cry on in the overwhelming days. No matter if your just now considering adoption or if you have already gone through the process and completed an adoption plan 5 years ago, grief has no time line, we want to be here for you. Please let us know how we can be a source of support to you during your journey.




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